New gear for 374 arrive last week -
Sassy being silly -
Bubby at the station after checking out Dad's new gear -
My life early on was good. Even though my mom had me at seventeen - in the middle of her senior year of high school, I was well provided for. Obviously my mother was there for me, but so were my maternal grandparents, and both sets of great grandparents, along with a few other close family members.
My mother and I lived with her parents for the first couple years of my life. My grandparents spoiled me immensely. I was the center of their world. It was really like I had two mothers - Grandma and Mom. Grandpa was, and still is the strongest father figure in my life. He wasn't home a lot because of his career, but when he was I felt safe and special. Looking back, I realize just how much he did for me. My mom and grandparents made sure all my wants and needs were met. I couldn't have asked for a better first few years.
Around age three, my mother and I moved out of my grandparents' house and into our own place that was on my great grandparents' (my grandpa's mom and dad) farm. It was also around that time that I started going to preschool, and spending time at my cousin's house playing. My world was growing from just my life inside my grandparents' house.
As I was out in the world more, I became more aware of how the world worked. I began to realize there was more to my little world than my mom and grandparents. I can remember being at home one day playing, I remember exactly where I was standing when it dawned on me that people are supposed to have a "dad". There was no one in my life that I called "Dad". I can remember thinking it was strange. I wondered why I didn't have a dad. It was at that point that I first realized my life was different.
I do not think at that point I thought much more about the situation. It was the reality I lived in - I just realized that my reality was different from everyone else. I can't imagine that I fully understood the role a father played in some one's life. I just knew it was something, or someone, that most people had and I did not.
It is amazing to me that at three and four years of age, I was having that kind of internal dialogue with myself. When I think about the fact that Sassy was four just a year ago, I can't fathom her contemplating such life issues and trying to figure out their answers at that age.
I'm in no way saying the absence of my father negatively affected my first few years of life. It just laid the ground work for many issues that came up later in my childhood, and still now in my adult life. As I come to grips with these issues, I realize they are things that need to be worked through. Some of these issues can be resolved with a little counseling and some self reflection. Other issues are a little deeper. Some are a result of questions I have that I personally can't answer. Only one person can answer those questions and that's the reason for I decided to take this journey.
Before having any information on my father, I was never sure if I needed him in my life. I knew I wanted a name, and most definitely a picture, but there was a huge possibility that was all I needed. Perhaps after having this information, I could close the chapter on that portion of my life. At the time I didn't think I had anything to lose if I decided not to search - I had went my whole life until that point without him, so what's the rest of my life going to matter?
After getting a name and a picture, I new without a doubt the search wasn't over. I knew I needed more. I began working on the issues I could fix myself, but there were still questions only he has the answers to.
Hello everyone! My name is Heather, and I’m a stay at home mom/fire wife. I have been married to J for 2 years and we have one son, R, who is 18 months old. J has been a volunteer/paid on call fire fighter for 9 years, and is now the Secretary of The Board of Director’s for his department. Things get pretty hectic around here, and that’s why I love being able to work from home. I have been crocheting for 10 years. I mostly made blankets and scarves, until I was pregnant. Once nesting kicked in, I was teaching myself new stitches so that I could make different things for my baby. After getting so many compliments on my work, J convinced me to start selling them and Crocheted by Rae was born (Rae is my middle name, and it’s what I was referred to most of my life). I never imagined it would grow as big as it has, but I am loving every minute of it. This lion bonnet is new to my shop and be introduced right along with this giveaway. It can be made in sizes Newborn-12 months, and the winner will be able to choose the size that they want. A matching diaper cover with the lion’s tail can be purchased separately in my shop if one is required. I look forward to seeing you over at CBR, and GOOD LUCK!